In which Kid demonstrates how to swear!
by Ava Raven
Summary: Kid want Maka only she's with Soul, cue amusing situations where Kid embarrasses himself and swears a lot...Loudly...Explicitly... Kid/Maka, with a bit of Soul/Maka, Soul/Blair, Soul/Liz/Patty, Kid/Liz/Patty it'll make sense honest!
1. Chapter 1

Hey! So it has been ages since I wrote any fan fiction but got back into it with Soul Eater! I'm a HUGE Kid x Maka shipper, don't like it tough! So I know we are a small ship and thought I'd add my small contribution! This is a Kid x Maka fanfic! Don't like it, see that little button top left that's to go back push it! Ha Ha! Kid centric story, little Maka x Soul, Soul x Blair, Soul x Liz/Patty. It'll all make sense honest! I don't own anything!

Enjoy Gentle Reader!

Standing on the terrace of the DWMA overlooking the forecourt of the academy Death the Kid hangs over the stone barrier casually surveying the comings and goings of the party below. The main party was taking place in the ballroom inside the academy but that wasn't what interested Kid. What interested Kid was a certain blonde Meister and the Death Scythe she had created. They were dancing slowly, far too close to be just friends. The music drifted up to Kid. It was a slow haunting piano melody that spoke of dreams left unrealized and promises unfulfilled. The couple below drew closer, their faces tilting towards each other, slowly searching for the others embrace.

Kid finally snapped in that moment. All logic and reason abandoned him then. He caught hold of the first thing that came to his hand and without registering what it was hurled it hard at the white haired boy below. Kid had at least the good sense to drop to the ground after his projectile hit the ground, covering the stone below in the red innards of what Kid realized was a watermelon.

_Shit! It didn't smash symmetrically! _

Kid tried to rein in his OCD. Trying desperately to resist throwing another to try to be symmetrical.

The door to his balcony rattled. Someone was trying to get in to see who the perpetrator was.

"**SHIT!" **Kid swore aloud this time.

"**How the fuck do I get myself into these positions?" **

Kid found himself flashing back to when this all began one month ago…

Chapter 2 preview….

"**Bloody great hairy Bollocks!" **Kid demonstrated one of the many skills he had learned since being away. The ability to swear like a sailor automatically.

So yeah short I know but chapter two is written already will be posted very soon!

Review Review Review Review!

Much Love!

Ava


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! So as promised chapter two! Again short but it's a nice place to have a break before we get to the really good stuff! Thanks for all the hits!

I do not own Soul Eater! This is just for fun

Enjoy Gentle Reader!

1 Month Ago….

Kid stood at the entrance to the academy, it had been a couple years since he, Maka and Black Star had graduated. Lord Death had sent his son round the world on various missions to train his reaper skills. He hadn't been back to the academy since graduation day. Kid had gathered his friends after the ceremony and broke the news, he was leaving to them. Soul and Black Star had accepted it with a nod of the head. Tsubaki's eyes shone with tears but said,

"Come back safe to us Kid."

Maka refused to meet his eyes, tears rolling freely down her face. Kid had been touched at how upset she had gotten. He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly, her lithe frame feeling good in his arms. The two had shared a brief attraction, each catching the others gaze at some point but with the threat of the Medusa, Arachne, Ashara, and getting stuck in that bloody book of Eibon there had been no time for Kid to explore his attraction to Maka. Instead he pulled her tighter and placed a light, fleeting kiss on her forehead. Kid released her to Soul and with one last farewell glance he summoned Beezlebub and left.

Now Kid was back older, powerful, taller he was pleased to note and he hoped wiser. Liz and Patty were still at Gallows Mansion unpacking. Kid couldn't wait any longer he had to see her.

_I mean Him, my father _Kid corrected himself.

_Sure and its just a coincidence she's teaching at the academy?_

Kid shook his head to clear it before opening both doors of the academy at once, now more a habit than a necessity. Behind them was the familiar corridors and stood there in corner where they used to meet was the angel he most wanted to see. His golden haired angel with the jungle green eyes in a passionate embrace he had imagined himself in with her. There was only one person in Death City with hair the colour of snow….

"**Bloody great hairy Bollocks!" **Kid demonstrated one of the many skills he had learned since being away. The ability to swear like a sailor automatically.

A little longer but the comedy all starts properly next chap!

Review Review Review!

Chapter 3 preview…

_Must think unsexy thoughts cold showers, grandma, Souls hair, Black Star, LIZ AND PATTI'S BOOBS!_


	3. Chapter 3

Enjoy Gentle reader.

"**Bloody great hairy Bollocks!" **Kid demonstrated one of the many skills he had learned since being away. The ability to swear like a sailor automatically.

Maka pulled away sharply. Kid stood there staring his jaw hanging open as he took in in the sight of Maka and Soul's arms wrapped around each other. Soul looked round lazily at the disturbance.

"KID!" Maka squealed pushing herself out of Souls arms and running to Kid. She flung her arms round his neck pulling him into a tight hug. Kid relaxed letting his arms circle her waist and buried his face in her hair inhaling deeply.

Soul wandered over something akin to a smirk on his face.

"Hey man when did you get back?" Soul asked slapping Kid's back

"This morning." Kid replied looking up from Maka who still had him in a death grip.

"Actually his father is expecting him in the Death Room now" came a new voice.

Maka jumped away from Kid as if she were burnt. Her face was flushed as she looked to the source of the new voice. Spirit was leaning against the frame of a door watching the scene with interest in his eyes.

"I mustn't keep him waiting then." Kid straightened up brushing off his trousers.

"Kid we have to do something to welcome you back!" Blurted out Maka as Kid was turning to leave. Kid looked at her expectantly.

"We could go for a drink at the Death club" suggested Soul

"Sounds great, meet you there" Kid replied this time actually leaving the corridor.

Kid followed Spirit down the corridor, texting to Liz that they were headed to the club tonight. God forbid she got less than 5 hours notice to get ready. Kid chuckled to himself. It was then Kid caught Spirit watching him.

"How long has that been going on" He asked trying to sound casual.

Spirit smiled "Begun not long after you left. Was just a matter of time"

Kid fell silent his eyes looking to the floor. He missed Spirits smirk as he led him to the Death room to his waiting father.

Kid barely took in what his father was saying, his mind was on Maka. Not that that was unusual mind you but Kid was wallowing. He had honestly thought they had something, he thought…What had he thought? That she would fling herself into his arms, right there in that corridor? That she'd demand he take her right there on the cold corridor floor? Her hot naked body writhing on top of his as he…..

"Kid you even listening to a word I'm saying?" Death asked his son.

Kid sat as vacant as he had been the whole meeting. Death pulled back his comically large hand before bringing it swiftly onto his sons head.

"Shinigami Chop!"

Kid looked up dazed clutching his head.

Lord Death shook his head at his son knowing full well what was on his mind.

"Just go Kid I can catch you up tomorrow when your mind isn't on Maka in a short dress."

Kid's cheeks flushed ever so slightly.

"I wasn't thinking of Maka in a short dress" he retorted before thanking his father and taking his leave. Technically I was thinking of Maka in no dress. He added silently.

The corridors were empty as he left the DWMA and made his way back to Gallows Manor.

Kid opened the doors again at once and was met with hurricane Liz. In her arms were multiple layers of clothes. Most resembling the consistency of candy floss Kid mused. Liz charged past not even greeting him as she tore up the stairs, Patti laughing manically behind her.

Kid looked at his watch, it was a couple hours until they were due to meet the gang. Kid followed them up the stairs but entered his own bedroom across from theirs. He opened a cabinet to reveal a well stocked drinks bar. Kid pored himself a large measure of whiskey, the amber liquid a darker colour than his eyes. Kid swallowed the whole thing in one gulp and pored himself another.

Kid could hear Liz's panic across the hall even with the doors shut and he smirked to himself. Kid picked up the glass and opened his walk in wardrobe. He supposed he ought to pick out something to wear to what he supposed would be a night of torture…

2 hours later….

Kid stood waiting in the hall for the sisters. He had yet another drink in his hand. Kid tapped his foot impatiently. They were supposed to meet everyone at 8 and Kid was anxious to get there on time. It was then Patti and Liz came down the stairs both dressed in strapless pink chiffon dresses and matching heels. Kid smiled and offered each an arm before leaving the manor and getting in the car to let the driver take them to the Death Club.

Kid strode to the front of the line knowing that ever person waiting to get in the club was watching them. He knew he looked good and he also knew that every guy in the line was green with envy that he had two beautiful blondes on his arms, in perfect symmetry. The bouncer nodded at Kid ushering them into the bar within.

The club wasn't too crowded. It was exclusive enough to be picky who it let it and wealthy customers like Kid and any friends he wished to bring were always welcome. Kid scanned the crowd looking for Maka. She was on the dance floor, her body moving in time with the beat. Her eyes were closed lost in the beat her hands above her head. Every movement oozed sex and Kid was pretty sure she didn't know the effect it was having on the male members in the club.

Liz and Patty had detached themselves from Kid and were making their way to the private booth their friends were occupying. Kid stood at the bar watching Maka, only taking his eyes off her to signal for a drink. The bartender pressed a glass into Kids hand, and he sipped the amber liquid that was his poison of choice.

Maka was wearing a short dress. Kid was amused to note. It was a deep dark blue that contrasted with her milky skin. It was sequined and caught the light as she moved. Kid stifled a gasp when she turned her back to him. The garment had no back to it! Well it covered her ass but from the small of her back right up her neck was completely bare. Kid groaned as his mind ran away with him. If it had no back then she'd be wearing nothing underneath. Kid found himself willing Maka to turn round and as she did he was rewarded with the sight of her pert nipples straining against the material. Kid felt himself stiffening at the thought, the alcohol he had consumed had lowered his usual self control and he found himself starting towards the dance floor to his angel.

Maka noticed him as he approached and when he grew near she grabbed his had pulling him into the crowd. Kid was pressed right up against her, the dance floor too crowded for anyone to be concerned with personal space. She was so close her ass grinding against Kid as she swayed to the music. Kid stifled a groan as she bent her knees and pushed herself up and down against Kid. Kid had closed his eyes enjoying himself until…a small hand cupped his behind. Kid's eyes snapped open Maka had her back to him and unless she was very dexterous the culprit was someone else. It was ten Kid realized that he was getting very aroused by the close proximity of Maka and he was becoming hard.

_No not here _Kid thought anxiously.

Maka turned to face Kid. She swung one leg round his hip so their crotches were grinding together.

Kid was frantic by now doing everything he could to avoid getting a raging hard on in the middle of a club he was very well know in.

_Must think unsexy thoughts cold showers, grandma, Souls hair, Black Star, LIZ AND PATTI'S BOOBS!_

The song stopped as did Maka. She got off Kid smiled kissed him on the cheek the walked away to where Soul was sitting. Kid could only stare in wonder as she sat right on Souls lap and kissed him deeply and hungrily.

Kid sighed before making his way through the throng and back to the bar where he proceeded to get very very drunk.

Next time…

"Liz its time for desperate measures you must head into enemy camp and sleep with the albino daemon. If he resists use dirty tactics…A threesome with the devils large breasted cat. We understand your sacrifice for the cause and we salute you for it. God speed."

Kid gave the speech before saluting Liz as she walked out the door disbelievingly


End file.
